When God Was A Sea Monster

I was 19 when this happened.

A relative or a friend--I no longer recall who--asked me what I wanted from the U.S. on his or her trip. I said I wanted a dime-store sea monster; I must have seen this advertised either in a tabloid or in a comic book. Voila--whoever it was came back and I had a set of dime-store sea monsters and their housing--a two-inch-in-diameter plastic globe that had a screw-on cap and a loop; the globe could therefore be worn as a pendant or used as a key chain.

Excited with my new gift, I filled the globe with 3/4 water and poured the powder (which came in a smaller packet) into it. I hung the globe near my bedroom window and waited for the grains to germinate into--insects? The plastic globe magnified them. They were even more visible through a magnifying lens. They did look like "sea monsters": they had cute, bulbous heads and wings that were in constant motion and that allowed them to navigate through the water. I became quite attached to the biggest one.

A day or two later, I read the literature in the packet more carefully, and was shocked to learn that I had to feed the sea monsters on a regular basis. I was very much distressed. The literature specified that the creatures could not be fed any kind of food other than what they are usually fed with, and I had to order that from the States! (There was no such thing as e-commerce at the time.)

I went through an agonizing period of watching my sea monsters starving to death. I had impulses to smash the globe and flush everything down the toilet to end their slow suffering, but I did not have the heart to actually do so.

One morning, I looked inside the globe and saw that my sea monsters were already dead and motionless. I buried everything, packet and all, in my mother's garden. Strange as it may sound, I felt guilty for the longest time and, as you can see, I still recall this episode.

All this taught me that to give life to something is not enough--one must nurture that life as well.

I think of this whenever I take on a pet animal, or a friend, or meet someone who wants to have a special relationship with me.

I would rather that you remain dormant in a packet of powder rather than give you hopes and dreams that neither one of us will be able to fulfill.

We need to go beyond excitement. Besides, if I am unable to take care of that packet of powder, I am certain that someone else will be able to.